Harrassing Yankee Fans

A regular came by today I hadn't seen in a while and we were talking about how the Red Sox are out spending the Yankees this year. The evil empire has always outspent every other team and it appears they're scaling back. Who can blame them after Kevin Brown, Carl Pavano and A-Rod. What has it gotten them? Well, they haven't won a World Series this millennium; maybe the Yanks are revisiting how to build a team.

I really believe the Yankees are due for an implosion this year. The Yankees are going to fall victim to their own excesses in 2007. With a string of failed free agent signings and a pitching staff that can't measure up to the Red Sox, they will be lucky to come in second place in 2007. Mariano Rivera is griping about his contract and it isn't even spring training yet, Joe Torre is showing signs of being frustrated, A-Rod is on TV saying the love is gone between him and Jeter and Andy Petit won't live up to his legacy. While the Yankees will have a powerful batting line up, they won't be able to close the deal as in years past.

I predict A-Rod will be dealt by the trading deadline, Joe Torre will be fired and Petit will be on the DL. Red Sox take the AL East by 4 or 5 games.

Back to my customer: He has a son-in-law who is a Yankee fan living in Vermont. Poor deluded man. He apparently gets a lot of grief from just about everyone in his life. I intend to pile on here! We started chatting about how we treat Yankee fans. Personally, I grew up with the "old" Red Sox: break yer heart every time. Yankee fans were a constant source of pain and harassment-their arrogance and superior attitude were exceeded only by the success of their team. Thank God that era is over and my children won't have to grow up with the same inferiority complex that plagued me through my fortieth year.

So I was telling this customer how I treat Yankee fans these days. Customers wearing Yankee apparel must pay a two dollar surcharge for their meals and be subject to any abuse I hurl their way while serving up their delicious dogs. A boy at my daughter's middle school actually trashed his Yankee hat in favor of a Red Sox hat because he got tired of me calling him out when I was picking her up from school; his dad thanked me at a school concert for doing what he had been unable to do! Then there was the kid who wore a Yankee hat to his first practice as a member of my Little League team-after he finished the 5 laps around the field I made him run, he swore he'd never wear the hat to practice again (he didn't). And there's the bag boy at the local market who always wears a Yankee hat-I asked to speak to the manager and the manager said we could take him out back and rough him up a bit. When I see someone wearing a Yankee hat at our beach, I tell them they need to remove it-"club rules." My customer's son in law was told by his boss not to wear his Yankee hat to work if he wanted to keep his job!

The collective consciousness of Red Sox Nation is getting its revenge for years of abuse and we're not shy about letting our feelings be known. I don't intend to let up on Yankee fans-at least not in this millennium.