Happy Anniversary

Nine years ago today, I married the most wonderful woman in the world. Happy Anniversary honey!

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Marketing Genius

I was cruising down route 9 last week while on my way to the Recession Stand to do a Hot Dog Story when I saw this billboard.

Customers at the Recession Stand were buzzing about the billboard. I must admit, as a red blooded American male who is married to the very hot Mrs. HDM, my curiosity, albeit prurient, was piqued.

Check out the site for yourself:

www.IsYourWifeHot.com

In case you didn't click, you'd see the following:

"Is your wife hot? Better get her A/C fixed!"

The site is an advertisement for Rodenhiser Plumbing, Heating and Air Conditioning.

Many Rodenhiser crews stopped by the hot Dog Truck for lunch over the years, so I don't mind giving the free plug.

I think this advertisement is sheer marketing genius! I don't know how many converted sales they have made from this campaign, but I'll bet dollars to doughnuts they got TONS of clicks and generated quite a few laughs. Company owner Andy Rodenhiser tells me the billboard and website are "phase one" of the advertising campaign. "Phase two" is a TV commercial. I'll post it when it becomes available- it should be good for a chuckle too.

I think this campaign is marketing genius, what do you think?

Curtain Call

I wrote about my wife's "secret" installation ofcurtain rods in our bedroom a while back. She installed some new curtain rods and didn't tell me. I didn't even notice they were there until one day I went to bed and she'd put up the curtains. The curtain rods were in our bedroom for a week before she hung the curtains and I didn't even notice- I am still catching major grief for that little faux pas!

Our new curtain rods look like this one:The curtain rods in the living room look like this one: I like them-not too fancy so I'd hardly notice them (I didn't after all).

I'll have to admit, I'm not big on curtains, I'd prefer simple blinds with no window treatment at all- a clean uncluttered look. My wife has different tastes and ideas however and, like most men, I'm forced willing to compromise on such issues. Having curtains in the boudoir gives her an enhanced sense of "security" when we're using it for things other than sleeping, if you know what I mean.

The thing that kills me most about accessorizing the home is the "decision process." This usually involves traipsing around from store to store looking at and offering opinions on things that really don't matter too much to me. I'd much rather she pick curtain rods and other similar items out on her own, even if I don't notice them for a week and catch a load of crap for it. After all, even if I DO go from store to store with her, she'll ultimately pick out what she wants and I, smart guy that I am, will capitulate to her wishes and compliment her on her wonderful taste and flair.

The next time she has a whim and wants to get new curtain rods, I'm sending her to Wrought Iron Haven to do her shopping. It's an online store for all sorts of home decorating accessories, including curtain rods. This works out great for me. She can browse around and find the things she likes and I can compliment her on her wonderful taste and flair without leaving the house! Maybe then we can have a little more time to draw the curtains in the boudoir, if you know what I mean.

I can even show her a secret on the website that will save us some money. She's as much of a cheap bastard as me, bless her heart. If you want to get a special discount on curtain rods (or anything else they sell), all you have to do is go to the homepage halfway down and click on the comma in the line that reads “Our Store now has over 1,300 home & garden items for you to choose from!” So we save money AND time. I like that.

Let's review: I am oblivious. My wife delights in goofing on me. She has flair and style. I could care less. I hate shopping. We're both cheap bastards. We can save money on home decorating accessories at Wrought Iron Haven. I'd rather retire to the boudoir, if you know what I mean, than agonize over curtain rods.

Got it?

Good.

Clicker Etiquette

We have four TVs in our house. One in the kitchen, one in the playroom for the kids, one in our bedroom and one in the living room. The living room TV is the "good" TV. My wife and I are in a constant struggle for control of the almighty CLICKER.

If we're going to settle down to a night of TV, there are certain unwritten rules we follow. I'm not much of a TV fan. I like a good movie. I watch baseball, football and the news. The only shows I watch are Two and a Half Men and Survivor (I PROMISE I'll never blog about Survivor).

My wife is a clicking fool. She will flip around until she finds the most inane reality show she can find. She watches Survivor. She watches anything to do with reality programming and remodelling while commenting "Oh, that looks like a good project." I cringe when these shows are on. She watches Dog the Bounty Hunter, Flavor of Love, Super Nanny, Biggest Loser, The Bachelor, The Apprentice and the list goes on (and on). If its a reality show, she'll find it.

Now during baseball and football season, there is a struggle for CLICKER CONTROL. I, naturally, want to watch the games on the "good" TV. Here is where the unwritten rules come in. For Red Sox- Yankee games there is no discussion. The ball game is on. If its a game against Kansas City, she'll make some noise, but if I can invent some drama ("hey, Manny's going for Home Run number 500"), I can get the CLICKER without much fuss.

She's getting savvy though. She checks to see who's pitching and for the opponent's record and if it's a "dog" game, she'll protest. Depending on my mood, I may relent if it really is a dog game.

Sunday Football takes precedence, she even watches sometimes (although my brother just got a humongous Plasma-I'll be going over there a lot on Sundays this year). For the Sunday Night and Monday Night Football games, I'll relinquish the clicker if the game is one sided or has no "sporting" significance. Needless to say, the Patriots games are always on.

I got her good once. Last year NFL Network began the NFL Replay on Tuesday and Wednesday nights. They replay two games from the previous weekend each night. I was watching a game on a Tuesday night and she asked what the heck football was doing on TV on a Tuesday night. I told her they were experimenting with new nights. Rolling her eyes and letting out an exasperated sigh, she trotted upstairs to watch some reality drivel. It took her three weeks to figure out the Tuesday and Wednesday games were replays and boy was she pissed when she found out! She actually hid the clicker on me!

Most of the time we reach a happy equilibrium with the clicker, but it's a never ending struggle for CLICKER CONTROL.

For Battle of Bloggers

I go to a site called Blog Explosion to have the Hot Dog Truck "battle" other blogs. Basically you match up against another blog and people vote on which Blog they like the best. The winner wins credits and basically feels good about themselves.

I have developed a set of criteria on how I vote in these battles:

I'll vote for a blog if it:

makes me laugh;
gives me new news or information I'm interested in;
has pictures of attractive, scantily clad (even nekkid) women;
informs me about a new way to make a buck online;
rants intelligently about any sort of scam or injustice;
is about hot dogs;
has cool pictures;
has a cool layout;
has heartfelt personal stories that are well written; and
has pictures of attractive, scantily clad (even nekkid) women

I won't vote for a blog if it:

has detailed information about American Idol-if I gave a crap, I'd just watch the flippin show;
is about the New York Yankees-the Yankees Suck;
has mommies complaining about their children-I have five kids, your life sounds like a friggin vacation to me;
hasn't been updated recently-if you have time to set up battles maybe you ought to try and post something new, maybe some pictures of attractive, scantily clad (even nekkid) women;
takes FOREVER to load-come ON, get a new host please;
has the words "loose" and "lose" or "looser" and "loser" confused or misspelled- don't get me started;
is clearly written by a teenager-if I want that kind of drama and angst I'll read my daughter's diary;
is a blog that consistently kicks my ass in Blog Battles-this causes a conundrum sometimes because the blogs with scantily clad (even nekkid) women usually kick my ass;
attempts to preach or lecture at me-I have a wife, an ex wife and I go to church on Sundays- 'nuff said; and
it is about the New York Yankees-did I mention they suck?

If both blogs in the battle suck:

I choose the one with the less offensive color scheme unless both blogs are about the Yankees in which case I'll just go back to the Battle Page without voting.

Mail Order Brides

I wish I had heard about this before. Stamps are a hell of a lot cheaper than alimony! One thing to always remember: "No matter how good she looks, someone somewhere is tired of her bullsh*t!" Check out Russian Mail Order Brides (no kidding) on Karma Kameleon. What a beautiful world we live in.

I wonder if there is a return policy?