Clicker Etiquette

We have four TVs in our house. One in the kitchen, one in the playroom for the kids, one in our bedroom and one in the living room. The living room TV is the "good" TV. My wife and I are in a constant struggle for control of the almighty CLICKER.

If we're going to settle down to a night of TV, there are certain unwritten rules we follow. I'm not much of a TV fan. I like a good movie. I watch baseball, football and the news. The only shows I watch are Two and a Half Men and Survivor (I PROMISE I'll never blog about Survivor).

My wife is a clicking fool. She will flip around until she finds the most inane reality show she can find. She watches Survivor. She watches anything to do with reality programming and remodelling while commenting "Oh, that looks like a good project." I cringe when these shows are on. She watches Dog the Bounty Hunter, Flavor of Love, Super Nanny, Biggest Loser, The Bachelor, The Apprentice and the list goes on (and on). If its a reality show, she'll find it.

Now during baseball and football season, there is a struggle for CLICKER CONTROL. I, naturally, want to watch the games on the "good" TV. Here is where the unwritten rules come in. For Red Sox- Yankee games there is no discussion. The ball game is on. If its a game against Kansas City, she'll make some noise, but if I can invent some drama ("hey, Manny's going for Home Run number 500"), I can get the CLICKER without much fuss.

She's getting savvy though. She checks to see who's pitching and for the opponent's record and if it's a "dog" game, she'll protest. Depending on my mood, I may relent if it really is a dog game.

Sunday Football takes precedence, she even watches sometimes (although my brother just got a humongous Plasma-I'll be going over there a lot on Sundays this year). For the Sunday Night and Monday Night Football games, I'll relinquish the clicker if the game is one sided or has no "sporting" significance. Needless to say, the Patriots games are always on.

I got her good once. Last year NFL Network began the NFL Replay on Tuesday and Wednesday nights. They replay two games from the previous weekend each night. I was watching a game on a Tuesday night and she asked what the heck football was doing on TV on a Tuesday night. I told her they were experimenting with new nights. Rolling her eyes and letting out an exasperated sigh, she trotted upstairs to watch some reality drivel. It took her three weeks to figure out the Tuesday and Wednesday games were replays and boy was she pissed when she found out! She actually hid the clicker on me!

Most of the time we reach a happy equilibrium with the clicker, but it's a never ending struggle for CLICKER CONTROL.