Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Field Trip Purgatory
I got the idea for this post from a comment I left on one of my Blog Catalog reader's sites, When a Southern Woman Rambles. Maybe I should start a blog called "When a Hotdogman Rambles." Oh, wait, it's called The Hot Dog Truck! Ms. Brown was ranting about Field Trip Hell, so I left a comment with my perspective. This little post was gleaned from my comments on that post.
I am always being asked to volunteer at my kids' schools for one thing or another, but I have a very strict policy when it comes to those requests: I have an age cutoff of 12 for volunteering to chaperon or otherwise help in my children's classrooms in any way. This is primarily due to the fact that 12 and unders are far easier to intimidate than teens. 12 and unders may be rambunctious, but they generally do what an authority figure (like a field trip chaperon) tells them to do, especially if he is six feet tall, has a booming voice and acts like he's what my 14 year old would call "scary."
Teenagers are a different animal. Everyone knows that children aged 13-19 know far more about anything in the world than any parent or teacher. They will question and sometimes outright defy nearly every request for compliance, no matter how simple. Once kids hit age 13, they roll their eyes and say "REALLY?!?!" a lot. I don't like getting eyerolls-with 4 teenagers, I get my full quota at home and then some.
Volunteering for my 6 year old's kindergarten class is a piece of cake. They get a little hopped up from time to time, but their sense of self preservation is still very active. On some subconscious level, their little six year old brains tell them "that person is bigger than you, don't piss him off." But I have yet to have to get heavy handed with the kindergartners, they're quite fun actually. Plus I usually get all the fruit juice I can drink.
I have a distinct advantage over the other chaperons: I have pretty much seen just about anything a kindergartner can dish out, so I am not surprised. It's real easy to tell the first time parents of a kindergartner; they're the ones who waffle between complete and unrelenting discipline and wishy washy enabling. If my group starts wigging out on me, I usually tell them to go climb on something which infuriates the newbie parents who fear the children will injure themselves, damage property, or worse.
One frantic mommy chaperon recently remarked that I can get away with that stuff because I was the lone "cool dad" chaperoning a field trip to an apple orchard. She told me this as my group was happily climbing a tree while her group was milling about and whining "how come THEY get to climb it?" while she tried to lecture them on the dangers of insects, splinters and climbing "strange trees." When it was time to go, I said, "outta the tree kids, let's roll." They promptly plopped out of the tree, splinter free, and followed me dutifully to the nearby bus. My frantic, newbie mommy friend spent the next five minutes pleading with her group to follow her.Since I am usually one of very few dads (if not the only one) on various excursions and since I allow my group to do what many mommies would never consider letting their group do, I am viewed by the kids with the awe reserved for most super heroes, sports figures and the Wonder Pets.
One of the big reasons I was able to successfully dodge responsibility for chaperoning or otherwise volunteering for my older kids once they reached 13 was there was always a younger sibling waiting in the wings. All I had to say was, "I did this stuff for you when you were their age, now it's their turn." Not that any teen would want their parent chaperoning a school field trip anyway-too embarrassing. I had one moment of weakness when I agreed to help paint my then 14 year-old's school, but we did that on three consecutive nights without the kids. It was almost like a vacation.
Unfortunately-at least for school volunteer purposes, I won't have another waiting in the wings when the 6 year old gets to be 13 (we've gotten out of production and into maintenance), so my previous method of evasion won't work. When and if she asks me to volunteer for something at her school when she reaches that age, I will have to just roll my eyes and say, "REALLY?!?!"
Working at home
A lot of people dream about working at home. The whole idea of being able to avoid commuting and "be there" for your family without the constraints of office politics is a very modern day romantic notion. People have visions of lounging around in pajamas, tapping on a keyboard or talking on the phone until they can warmly greet their kids when they come home from school. The people in that scenario are invariably good looking, are in a spotless home (with a view), and are always smiling. The kids in the scenario seem well adjusted, happy and are always smiling. It's a dream lifestyle.
Or is it?
While it has its advantages, there are times when it can be maddening. Like when you can't get any work done because you have to shovel your driveway for the fourth time. And the kids are off from school, stuck inside-but for a raucous round of sledding after lunch- doing everything in their power to distract, annoy or otherwise undermine any semblance of tranquil work state you may be attempting at the time. Or when the hot water heater blows out on the day we all need to get showered up for an evening engagement and the water heater is buried behind boxes of Christmas ornaments, old bikes, that box of books from your wife's freshman year that she will NEVER look at again, an old bed frame and several old TV's awaiting recycle day at the town dump. Nobody is smiling in this scenario. Dad is covered in dust, swearing and in desperate need of a cold martini.
Yeah, working at home is great. At least the dog is cooperative-most of the time.
Despite my grumblings, I do enjoy working at home. My typical day involves getting up in time to get everyone off to the bus and a good, solid 4 hours to write, do SEO, build websites, investigate advertising or affiliate offerings and do some of the analytical stuff we webmasters hot dog men do from time to time. I currently have four sites "under construction" that I have to design, put out content and build links to so I can get free traffic. I try to get the stuff that requires concentration done before noon and leave the more menial tasks until after noon. That way, when the kids filter in, I won't have my concentration shattered-I'm doing something mindless anyway. By 3:30 or so every day, the whistle blows because that's when Little Miss gets home and she just won't leave me alone; six year olds are like that (they don't tell you this stuff in the "work at home" brochure).
Sometimes I will do more work at night, sometimes not; it depends what's going on. There are some nights, after Little Miss goes to bed, when it's better than the morning: quiet and with sleep ahead, not behind. There are other nights when, if the day has been productive, I slip into the comfort of the aforementioned cold martini and a movie in bed with Coach (that's Mrs. HDM). She's usually smiling.
Jib Jab Rockin' Christmas
I put together another Jib Jab video of my kids to send out silly Christmas ecards. These are a lot of fun.
Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!
Try one for yourself!
Making Lemons from Lemonade
I am sure many Hot Dog Vendors first got the "itch" when they were young and, like me, had a lemonade stand at one point or another when they were kids.
This little girl in Oregon had a lemonade stand and and got shut down by the Health Department!
The article on AOL Health states:
"A 7-year-old Oregon girl's enterprising spirit was snuffed out when county health inspectors shut down her lemonade stand on the grounds that she didn't have a license.
Officials from the Multnomah County Health Department confirmed they tossed little Julie Murphy's makeshift lemonade business out of the Last Thursday monthly art fair in Northeast Portland."
You can read the whole article HERE.
Those heartless bastards!
Snowball Fight!
Just a silly JibJab Video one of my daughters did as an e-Christmas Card.
Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!
Armour Hot Dogs
Who remembers the old Armour Hot Dog song? Come on now....
Hot dogs, Armour Hot Dogs
What kinds of kids eat Armour Hot Dogs?
Big kids, little kids, kids who climb on rocks
fat kids, skinny kids, even kids with chicken pox
love hot dogs, Armour Dot Dogs
The dogs kids love to bite!
You can listen to it HERE
And good luck getting it out of your head!
Tryout Review: Bad Parenting Revealed
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As many visitors know, I coach a youth baseball team. We had our tryouts last weekend. Over 220 10, 11 & 12 year olds tried out for baseball last Saturday and Sunday. The tryouts help coaches to draft "even" teams and group players according to ability. The kids run the bases, field grounders at the shortstop position then throw to first, and they hit balls pitched from a pitching machine. As a coach I look for kids who can throw well and who "hustle." Every player on my team has hustle. It's not an easily identifiable trait, but I know it when I see it.
I remember baseball tryouts when I was a kid and I always wanted to show the coach that even though I may not be the most talented kid, I was a hustler. I would expect any kid trying out to give his or her best effort.
Unfortunately, that didn't happen in one case last weekend. There was one kid, a kid who is an excellent ballplayer, who purposely "dogged it" at tryouts so he would drop in the draft in order to be picked by a specific coach. This kid was easily the most talented athlete at the fields either day last weekend: he had played exceptionally well during summer ball last year and his summer ball coach made it no secret that he'd love to draft him. Unfortunately the coach had the fifth pick in the draft, so there was a good chance another team would pick him.
Apparently the kid's parents wanted him to be on that particular team because the kid was CLEARLY advised to "dog it." When running the bases he practically jogged. When fielding grounders he'd normally get to easily he purposefully bobbled the ball. When hitting he stood in as a lefty (he's a righty) and batted with a right hand grip! While in the batter's box he was seen to be grinning and staring out as his dad-as if they were both in on the joke. It was obvious to all the coaches and to the folks who were running the tryouts that this kid was "dogging it."
The coaches who wanted to pick him were mortified-both guys are not the type to engage in such chicanery. Other coaches thought the display was disgusting and voiced their displeasure in a variety of ways. Now I am not one to believe that a 10 year old kid can be so diabolical-he had to have gotten the idea from somewhere. One look at the SEG on his dad's face and it was obvious where he got the idea. What a piss poor example for a father to present to his son! If my kid did something like that, I'd be wicked angry at him, I believe you should ALWAYS give your best effort.
Now I coach in this league, I run the league website and compile all the schedules and I am on the Board of Directors. I spend hundreds of hours (along with many other dedicated people) making our league the best it can be for our children. When someone makes a JOKE out of what we do like this dad and his kid did, it pisses me off. It shows disrespect for the league, the coaches and all the other kids who were out there trying their hardest.
4 teams passed on the kid in the draft and he was eventually picked by the team that wanted him (I wouldn't want that kid on MY team because he showed he doesn't want to play by the rules-not easy to coach). We decided not to punish the kid by disqualifying him-but there are many dissenting opinions. I personally don't think the kid could have come to the decision to "dog it" on his own and knowing the history of the kid's father, (not the first time he's acted like an ass in youth sports) I can make the leap that it was HIS idea. You can't punish a kid for who his parents are.I am not sure how the father will be received once the season starts-I for one have very little respect for what he apparently advised his son to do. I can't imagine the move will be held in high regard by most parents with kids in the league.
On the plus side, it looks like I have a good group of kids and I can't wait to get out there and get them practicing. We got snowed out last night!
Please leave your thoughts on the kid "doggin it."
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Child Care
I went to Florida with FIVE KIDS last week. My wife had to skip this trip because she had to coach a major swim tournament all week. My kids are 3, 10, 11, 13 and 15 years old. I took them through the airport and on the plane without incident and I trucked them off to the beach every day while we were there. One day at the beach, as we were packing up to go, a woman who was seated nearby with her daughter and TWO grandchildren came up to me and said I was the "best beach dad" she ever saw! She complimented me on my patience and my ability to juggle the needs of all the kids. Boy did that make me happy. I told her I have had lots of experience and I thanked her for her praise.
Experience is a key parenting tool. I remember when I was a wide eyed new parent. I didn't know what I was doing. I am amazed my oldest turned out so well! Every little thing from how to feed the kid to finding a child care nursery was a huge decision.
We have always been blessed with good Child care nursery choices. I would certainly NEVER leave my kids with someone who I wasn't comfortable with. Often times, good day care centers can be a good source of information, even if they are too far away to use for your own kids. Teddies Nurseries is a UK based Child care nursery that not only provides top notch care for kids 3 months to five years old, they also have a plethora of information on their website about parenting, child care and children's health. It certainly looks like the type of place I'd feel comfortable with and it has the information first time parents can use for lots of their kid's issues.
Roller Coaster Madness
One of the things we like to do when we hit Florida is go to Busch Gardens in Tampa. The kids (and my wife) LOVE roller coasters and they have some real doozies there. Being hurtled unnaturally through space is not my idea of a good time. We got to the park at 9:30 when they open and the kids rode the above coaster, "Mombu," twice.
We then ran to the next coaster, pictured below, and they were the first riders of the day. The attendant let them stay in their seats for the second ride. I was waiting when the two younger girls ran out screaming "Andrew's PUKING!" My fifteen year old, ambling further behind, said it was a classic projectile, streaming puke. 
To his credit, he got right back on the next coaster, "Sheikra" (which features a hundred foot straight drop and moments of weightlessness). He said it was "AWESOME!"
I sometimes just don't "get" kids. Or roller coasters.
The Kid takes a crack at a Comic Strip
My daughter was looking at the silliness over at a new site I'm fiddling with called All Around. I've been goofing around with a comic strip generator over at Witty Comics and she wanted to give it a whirl. Here's what she came up with. Click the comic to enlarge.
The animation is pretty pedestrian but it's a real easy site to use. That's probably why I like it.
Here's a recent All Around Strip:
Home Haircut Kid
THANKS DAD!
We visited my folks the other day. All day my father was telling our three year old she needed to "get a haircut and get the hair out of her eyes." Today, she decided to take matters into her own hands.
She was making snowflakes with her "kid scissors" when the wife and I stepped into the kitchen for a chat. The kid was quietly playing in the family room and after about five minutes she ran up to us excitedly and shouted "MOMMY! DADDY! LOOK!"
There was a big pile of hair on the floor near the discarded scissors and she had quite obviously chopped her bangs plus quite a bit off the sides. She gave herself a pretty ugly mullet.
It took all we had not to unload on her, but she didn't do too bad of a job! So much for growing her hair out though.
We won't be playing with scissors for a while. When she asks to play with scissors in the future, we'll be saying "No." When she questions why, we'll say "Ask Grampy!"
;oP
BEFORE
AFTER
AFTER "TOUCH UP"
Weekend Washout
What had promised to be a hectic weekend was made far less hectic by rain. Two soccer games, two baseball games (the same game actually-Saturday's rainout became Sunday's rainout), and a school picnic were cancelled. What had promised to be a weekend of running around ended up being more of a sitting around weekend.
My wife still had to coach, but someone had the forsight to build indoor swimming pools, so she was at her meet all weekend.
I ended up watching The Sixth Sense with my oldest and she was surprised by the ending. Remember all the "hush hush" about the ending when that movie came out? It was fun to watch her figure it out. The Red Sox had a good weekend, taking 2 out of 3 from the Braves-I wouldn't have seen any of the games had it not been for the rain.
So now we'll have a "scrambling weekend" some other time.
At least I saved about $50 in gas!
Why I don't work Weekends
People always ask me at the Hot Dog Truck if I am open on weekends. I am not.
The reason: 5 kids aged 14, 12, 10, 10 & 2.
Today (Saturday) we had a 9AM away soccer game, an 11:45 AM away soccer game, a 2PM baseball game and a 2PM dance recital practice! All this while toting around a 2 year old and my wife is away coaching a swim meet all weekend! AAAAARRRGH!
Thank goodness the games were rained out!
Which leaves tomorrow: 9AM church choir for the 12 and one of the ten year olds, 11AM church choir for the 14 year old, a 2PM dance recital for the 14 year old, a 2PM School picnic for one of the ten year olds and a 4PM baseball game for dad and the 12 year old; and my wife is gone all day coaching a swim meet! AAAAARGH!
Thank goodness "Snapperhead" can watch the 2 year old for a few hours! Everyone will be where they need to be on time.
They say it takes a village to raise a child. In our case it takes a village just to drive everyone around!
Sometimes I can't wait for Monday mornings!
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