Regulars at the Hot Dog Truck know Jeff from Horizon Technology. Jeff takes his hot dogs seriously. So seriously that he'd come out for a dog on a crummy, snowy New England afternoon; like yesterday.
What made yesterday special was the milestone that took place. Since the spring, I have been logging Jeff's visits to the Hot Dog Truck by marking a slash on a box on top of the fridge. I had been teasing Jeff early in the season that some other customers were challenging his patronage by showing up for lunch more often than he did. Jeff, being the competitive SOB that he is, insisted that he would be the TOP DOG at the Hot Dog Truck.
Mark down Wednesday, December 17 as the day Jeff made his 100th visit of the season to the Hot Dog Truck! That's 200 hot dogs. Here's a photo of number 199 and 200. Jeff has onions, dill relish and Gulden's mustard on his dogs.
Yummy looking, eh?
To give some perspective, the average American consumes 60 hot dogs per year. Jeff consumed 200 hot dogs in 8 months which means his yearly intake is 300. Jeff eats enough hot dogs for 5 people! If you laid 300 hot dogs end to end it would be 200 feet; that's 10 times the length of your intestine! 300 hot dogs, with buns and condiments, weighs about 100 pounds. That's like eating a couple of REAL DOGS!
I like to tease Jeff and so do his co-workers but the bottom line is this: Jeff is committed to his love of quality hot dogs and he's keeping the average up for those who slack in their hot dog consumption. He's also a valued customer, fellow hot dog aficionado and a friend.
Neither rain, nor snow nor cold keeps Jeff from his beloved dogs. About the only thing that keeps him away is a sales meeting or a day off!
Here's Jeff with his 100th Hot Dog Truck "Special." He looks proud, and he should be. He's the TOP DOG at the Hot Dog Truck!
Thanks Jeff and to all the other TOP DOG wannabees out there.
TOP DOG!
Party in the Stomach
My favorite customer Jeff from Horizon Technology had his company Christmas party last weekend. Apparently things got a little rough, as illustrated by this video from Jim Bruer.
This was Jeff after the fact:
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
LOOSER?
I got this comment from the ODB on my Next Year post about the Boston Red Sox LOSING the ALCS:
"The decade of "The Chowd" is over, finished, done...With Manny gone you have little hope. Brady will never be the same and so will the Pats. Now all we need is for Garnett to go down and the Hat Trick is complete - A complete implosion of "Chowd Nation"!!!
It's gonna be a cold winter for you loosers..."
ODB is a frequent reader and he almost always has something confrontational to say when he leaves a comment. He obviously harbors great resentment towards Boston sports teams. This is because the teams in Southern California basically suck and have always sucked. He compensates for this by attempting to bash our Boston teams.
Let's review point by point:
With Manny gone you have little hope- Hmmmm. The Red Sox had a better winning percentage without Manny. Last time I checked, the Dodgers (where disgruntled Red Sox go to die) got eliminated in the NLCS- with Manny. Manny is the best hitter of our generation and if he ever played the game the way it should be played, he'd be the best of all time. Instead he's a no hustle statistical side show.
Brady will never be the same and so will the Pats.- I think he means "neither will the Pats," but we'll leave grammatical contextual faux pas out of this discussion for now. Brady will be back next year and he'll be Brady-a proven, never say die WINNER. Will the Pats go 16-0 again? Yeah, in 35 years maybe. Will they make the playoffs and contend for a championship this year? Hell yes-just watch. They are 4-2 (3rd best win percentage in the NFL). Last time I checked, your Chargers were 3-4.
Now all we need is for Garnett to go down and the Hat Trick is complete- SO ODB needs to wish physical injury to a player to satisfy his warped sense of sporting inferiority?
A complete implosion of "Chowd Nation"!!!- What the hell is CHOWD NATION? Whatever it is, it can't be as bad as "Perennial Loser With a Chip on Your Shoulder Nation."
Guess what ODB-the Red Sox WILL CONTEND NEXT YEAR, the PATRIOTS WILL CONTEND THIS YEAR and as for the Celtics, who cares-the NBA sucks anyway. Savor Boston's misfortunes, ODB. They're temporary and your teams (and your maniacally misplaced anger) are meaningless to us. I said it in plain English "YOU CAN'T WIN EVERY YEAR." You folks in Southern Cally ought to know!
It's gonna be a cold winter for you loosers... -By the way, the word is "LOSER." "LOOSER" means something is more loose than some other thing as in "this XXXL Championship Patriots sweatshirt is LOOSER than my medium CHARGERS SUCK sweatshirt." GET IT RIGHT!
Maitre' d for a Day
Frequent fans of the Hot Dog Truck will have heard of Jeff from Horizon Technology. Jeff has been to the Hot Dog Truck for lunch 59 times this year-that's 118 hot dogs!
He's always telling his crew at work about the fine cuisine he dines on each time he makes his way to my charcouterie on wheels and he managed to drag Bob and Andrew from his office out for some lunch today. Here they are posing with their meals.
Jeff is very enthusiastic about his status as my #1 customer. He gave Bob and Andrew "the Grand Tour" of my establishment which is no more than a walk around the exterior of the truck! While most of my customers can figure out how to order a hot dog, Jeff feels the need to describe in great detail the procedure for acquiring one's lunch (like Bob and Andrew have never ordered their own lunch ever). Jeff's enthusiasm is enlightening however and I do enjoy his daily visits.
He did get a bit discouraged when I pointed out that he forgot to wear the "company uniform" of tan chinos and a blue shirt, but what the hell, if he wants to dress like an 11 year old whose mom shops for him at local yard sales, that's his business!
Thanks for stopping by guys!
Bitch, I Love You
Jeff from Horizon Technology is probably my "top regular."Back at the old spot, seeing Jeff only four times a week meant something was wrong or he had a sales meeting. I don't know if Jeff will be a daily visitor at the new spot, but I am sure he'll continue to be a frequent regular.
Jeff has also hipped the guys at the California office (located in Lake Forest) to this website. They stop in and look at the site regularly and I like to have a little fun with them.
Last week, I received an email from another Jeff at Horizon Technology with the subject header: "Can You Come to Lake Forest, CA - We Roll Hard Out West N Sh*t....."
All the email contained was these two pictures:
I don't know what the hell it says on the gal's belly (please if you can translate let me know), but those look like some beefy dogs!
Anyways, I replied to Jeff but he didn't get my email, spam filters being what they are at big companies. Here was my reply:
I would LOVE to come out there, it looks really nice, but you also say stuff like "we roll hard out West N Shit," which is kind of gay!
You couldn't afford to pay for my gas to drive this beast coast to coast anyways. It would be a lot easier for you to fly east, take the entire Framingham office to lunch and leave a big tip.
You WILL be harshed on the internet.
Have a nice day!
-the Hotdogman
Just for S&G's, I googled "We Roll Hard Out West N Sh*t." and I found THIS GUY'S page. The site is strange-the guy is either a complete idiot or a comic genius! What hooked me was the site's music. I'm normally not one for music on a website, but the track "Bitch, I love you" by Black Joe Lewis caught my ear. The site is a definite WTF!?!?
So to you, Jeff in Lake Forest, I say this. The only way I roll is on a hot dog roll! NO SH*T!
Jeff is in the Money
Frequent visitors know about Jeff from Horizon Technology. He eats at my truck four days a week as a rule. I never see him on Fridays-he must hit the salad bar on Fridays. Jeff always tries to be an amateur maitre'd for patrons who arrive while he questions me about the various uses for duct tape in home repairs.
A guy at the "home office" in Lake Forest has been making goofy pics of Jeff on dollar bills. FYI, home office guy, THIS is how it's done!
You can make your own money HERE.
