Hotdogman's Bailout Plan

Yesterday I replaced my tip bucket with a bucket that says "Hotdogman's Bailout Fund." Tips were surprisingly good!

Now I don't think we'll get $700 Billion in tip money in time to save the Wall Street weasels, but it brought a little levity to the situation.

I have been reading a lot of theories about how the $700 Billion could be disbursed , and most of them are flawed. My solution is for the Feds to make me, the Hotdogman, the sole trustee of the bailout funds.

Instead of giving the money to the crooks who have already stolen that much (now they want to steal more to "save" the economy), I would take half of it and pay mortgages for folks who are having trouble. I'd start paying off the highest interest rate mortgages first and keep going until I ran out of the $350 billion.

With the other half, I'd give an equal share to every US citizen over age 18 with one caveat: you must spend all of it on products made in the USA.

I think the economy would do just fine with me in charge. The hot dogs would be good too.

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1 comment:

Joshua Xalpharis said...

You have my vote.

On a side note, with the stipulation that only American-made products may be purchased, it will be the death of the cursed Wal-Mart!

Damn you, Wal-Mart!

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