Three things signal the true beginning of spring for me:
Little League tryouts
Red Sox Opening Day
The sound of the Spring Peepers in the early morning and at dusk.
The day has finally come for our Little League tryouts! They are Saturday and Sunday which means the next three months will not be my own; I will be dedicating many hours to my team with practices and games. All the snow is gone and the fields look good, its time to PLAY BALL!
The Red Sox open in Kansas City on Monday and I believe there are three day games next week-that means the Red Sox talk will be hot and heavy at the Hot Dog Truck!
I heard my first Spring peepers this morning.
IT'S REALLY SPRING!!
Here's a couple of Kraut Dogs to hold you over until dinner:
True Signs of Spring
Hangin' Out at the Hot Dog Truck
If you'd like to have your Blog in my "Hangin' Out at the Hot Dog Truck" spot at the top of the second column for 3 days, leave a comment and a link. If you have an image of your page I'll put that up too! Why pay rent when you can just hang out at the Hot Dog Truck?
Who do you call when your windshield's busted?
For those of you who live in New England, the ubiquitous jingle in my title is probably so drilled into your brain that you began singing it as you read the it! When I did this last weekend, my son started singing the song!
Today, Scott from Giant Glass came by and fixed me up good as new!
He even managed to chow down on a couple of dogs when he was done. He said he's sat in some of the company seats at Fenway Park; the owner of Giant Glass has seats right behind home plate!
The funny thing is, breaking a car window is no big deal. If more things in life were as easy and painless as getting your auto glass replaced, the world would be a much better place. All I had to do was make a phone call. The folks at Giant Glass did the rest! They take care of all the insurance paperwork, show up just about anywhere when they say they will and they do their job well; I don't even have to pay anything. No hassle at all! Thanks, and I'll be more careful next time!
Now if I could only get some seats behind home plate at Fenway.....
My Site has a head cold!
Nurse Betty over at Flatline Web Design checked out the Hot Dog Truck for functionality of the design. Unfortunatly she was checking me out when I was revamping my page design :o( That's like being asked to cough right after a vasectomy!
Thanks Nurse Betty!
High Times at The Hot Dog Truck
Today was a gorgeous day, 70 degrees and the hot dog lovers are coming out of the woodwork!
This lovely Red Sox fan was havin' a good day!
Here's another happy Sox fan with "Red Sox" spelled in Japanese on his shirt. (Further translation found the shirt to say "My mother dresses me funny"). This guy's buddy is a former Hot Dog Man from Worcester. I guess that makes me "the Hot Dog Man's Hot Dog Man!"
Fred from Coldwell Banker is a hard core, year 'round regular. Here he is enjoying his standard "two all around brown" dogs. Fred owes me about $320.00 for STRAWS! (Straws are 8 bucks at the Hot Dog Truck and he never pays). Fred is going to be PO'd when he sees this picture!
Here's Fred's lunch: YUMMY!
The good weather means the folks at BOSE finally crawl out of their cubes and come on down for hot dogs. BOSE World HQ is right around the corner from my truck. When the picnic tables are out, they conduct meetings there! This guy bravely takes a bite out of a chili dog for the camera. I must say people look pretty goofy eating hot dogs!
These two guys (also from BOSE) are regulars but they tend not to venture out on the REALLY COLD days. The guy on the right gets two RED and WHITE dogs (Ketchup and Mayo). There really is no good explanation why someone would put ketchup and mayo on a hot dog-there must be some trauma in his childhood manifesting itself by ruining good hot dogs with KETCHUP!
The guy on the left switches it up a lot-sometimes going for a burger, sometimes dogs. Today he got two BLONDS (Chili, Onion and Mustard). This hot dog name is courtesy of a gal from LA who suggested that name here (she's sooo naughty!) Many people who work at BOSE are also musicians and guy on the left is too. He's in a Grateful Dead
Two with Mustard- to go
This guy-two with brown mustard-comes by a lot. Likes to talk Red Sox. He likes the Papelbon move too. I'd say it was 95% in favor of Papelbon going to the bullpen at the Hot Dog Truck today.
There were some Yankee fans on Boston talk radio today knocking the move. When questioned, they didn't want to talk about Mussina or Petitte or the fact that Carl Pavano is their opening day starter! One Yankee fan actually admitted that he was a closet Red Sox fan since he moved to the area. He claimed he likes going to the "bawl game" and he likes to go to Fenway-he even admitted to OWNING A RED SOX CAP! I sure as hell wouldn't buy a Yankees hat!
The Sox open a week from today! Woo Hoo!
800 Pound Gorilla
Last week the Red Sox announced that Jonathan Papelbon will once again be the closer for the team.
Pap is saying all the right things: "This is something that I've decided that I want to do for the rest of my career and chase records, and, hopefully, make the Hall of Fame and do [some] special things in the game that maybe no other closer has ever done before." Sounds confident, eh?
He should be. Papelbon's 0.92 ERA was the eighth lowest in Major League history among pitchers with at least 50 innings. It was the best ERA put forth by a closer since eventual Hall of Famer Dennis Eckerlsley's Cy Young and MVP season of 1992. Papelbon held opponents to a .167 batting average, second lowest in the Majors in 2006 and tied for the best in Red Sox history. If he can keep his shoulder healthy, his "return" to the closer's role is very good news.
He was the equivalent of the 800 pound gorilla last year. He basically did what he wanted to when he wanted to do it.
Pap even gave Mariano Rivera some props. "He's kind of the man that, to everybody who is a closer now, he's like the 'Godfather,'" Papelbon said. "He understands that we're going to be going after him. I think what he's done for the role of a closer and for the game of baseball has been a big thing. Like I said man, he's like the 'Godfather.'"
Papelbon has a better starting staff than Rivera does this year; the Red Sox have the best starting rotation in baseball and now they have the 800 pound gorilla to shut things down in the 9th. The move solidifies the whole Sox staff and will have American League hitters dreading the 9th inning when they play the Red Sox.
I can't wait for the first showdown between the Gorilla and the Godfather. Yankee fans will be going bannanas. My money's on the gorilla.
OOOOPS!
Well it was a fine and sunny day so my son and I went out to play a little catch. It was nice to get outside and chuck it around. We were playing long toss and after about ten minutes we were really throwing hard. I let one fly and it tailed away from my son.
It was one of those times when everything slows down and you JUST KNOW what is going to happen.....
Under Construction New Template!
As you can see, my page design has changed! I got my new 3 column template from Template Panic HERE.
I will be customizing over the weekend and soon the usual array of nonsense will be back!
Can You Feel the Love?!?!
Well after about a month and a half or so of blogging, I am getting noticed! My mother always said I was starved for attention....
Anyhoo, a site that reviews blogs called (appropriately) Our Blog Review, reviewed me HERE.
It's all good!
Munny4Hunny had some nice things to say too, click here. Munny also had some rather strange things to say (something about legos and dog's testicles) here.
THEY LIKE ME, They REALLY REALLY Like Me!
What a difference!
The day was warm, the truck was hoppin' and some of the "picnic table crowd" from the office park ventured out for dogs today. What a difference a few days makes! All bodes well for the fields......
The Snow on Monday vs. The Snow on Friday
The Hot Dog Man's Tip Jar! (Hot Dog Truck Operator's Relief Fund)
"Sweetie" and the kids on the bus from Methuen-Have A Great Friday!
How to Coach Youth Baseball: Book Review
As anyone who has been to this site or my truck knows, I am a youth baseball coach. I've published articles on my baseball coaching and league website admin experiences here as well as a paper I wrote for one of the Master's Degree classes I took last fall. There will undoubtedly be many Little League stories in the coming months as our tryouts are March 31 and practice begins April 4. Coaching a Little League team is an all consuming task if the coach takes it seriously and I do.
Apparently an author (with incredible good taste) named Beverly Carroll noticed my passion for coaching Little League and asked if I'd give her book a read. I received the book, How to Coach Youth Baseball, in the mail on Monday March 19 while in the midst of preparing schedules for our league, setting practice plans for my team, preparing for our annual Little League Auction and praying all this snow will go away before our tryouts! Since the weather is looking grim, I'll be able to read it quickly :o(
It is written in a very simple, easy to understand style. The author makes no assumptions that the reader knows anything about baseball (who really does) which may frustrate more experienced coaches, but overall the style does not distract from the content.
The book is divided into sections that address fundamental drills for each baseball discipline. It's chock full of drills and practice ideas. The drills are explained in detail and many have accompanying photographs to illustrate the proper execution. Incorporating lots of repetition with fundamental drills while varying the activities and keeping the kids engaged is tantamount to the success of any youth baseball squad and the drills outlined in this book will help a coach accomplish this. I was surprised and delighted to find many drills I use in my own practices described. I also got some good, new practice ideas which to me is the measuring stick for a good coaching book or lecture: "did I learn something new?" If I did, I consider the book or lecture a worthwhile endeavor! All the skills need to be covered and taught in practices, so having several different exercises for each fundamental is important. You'll probably find you don't have the time to do all the drills in the book in your practices, but it sure is nice to have something new up your sleeve if you do have some extra practice time.
The practice outlines in the book are invaluable, particularly to a new or less experienced baseball coach. Having a plan for practice is important- I like to set up 6 or 7 stations at my practices and rotate the kids through each station in pairs every 5-10 minutes. This keeps each kid engaged and actively working on skills and fundamentals for over an hour of each practice. The drills in How to Coach Youth Baseball are very well suited to this sort of practice organization.
There are things I do at my practices that are not in this book (maybe I'll write my own...), but there are more than enough fundamental drills to fill any team's practice season. I had one problem with the book-they actually cover throwing a curve ball! Kids should NOT throw curve balls until their teens and coaches who need to read this book shouldn't be teaching them to throw it!
I've read many books, attended many lectures and coach's clinics and searched for hours online to help me be a better coach and to help me make my practices productive and educational for my players. When I think back to that first tee ball team I "coached" years ago, I wish I had How to Coach Youth Baseball then.
If there is one book a coach, particularly a new baseball coach, should read, this is it. The season starts soon, get your copy today!
Hot Dog Pix-Name 'em if you like!
These were the first dogs of the day today, 2 with Kraut.
Here's one of the "regulars," Adam from Genzyme, enjoying the best damn hot dogs on the planet! (He was hungry today-3 dogs!)
The guy from Worcester Elevator got 2 with ketchup, relish and onion.
Some guy from South Carolina wanted 2 with chili, cheese, onions, mayo and ketchup.
Now doesn't that make you hungry?
Vernal Equinox Redux
AAAAhhhhh.......Spring!
AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHH!!!! SPRING?!?!?!?!
Think I'll have a Coke.....
Manny Gets Grilled
Manny Ramirez of the Boston Red Sox put his gas grill up for sale yesterday on eBay! Read the story HERE.
At the end of the article is this : "I'm just here to play the game and enjoy it," Ramirez told the Globe. "[I enjoy] my life. All the things that I do I enjoy. I'm not here to talk to [the media]. I'm here to play the game. That's me, you know. The same. Everywhere I go is the same."
The guy takes a lot of heat from the media, largely because he doesn't talk to them so they have to invent stuff.
LAY OFF MANNY! And pass the barbeque sauce....
Name That Hot Dog!
I am revamping my menu for the spring (no more crayon scribbled on torn cardboard) and I want to "name" my hot dogs. I figure a menu with catchy names for the hot dogs would be cool. For instance mustard, relish and onion is called "All Around," a plain hot dog is a "naked puppy," etc.
Today I had this hot dog for lunch:
It has chili, onions and mustard (it was delicious!)
OK people, Name that hot dog!
Vernal Equinox
Spring arrives at tonight at 8:07 PM Eastern Standard Time. This isn't what conjures up memories of Spring for me!
This is what the Hot Dog Truck looks like on the first day of Spring! All the snow is left over from the snow storm last Friday. By 9 AM everything was melting fast; I hope the baseball fields will be clear by March 31 because that's when our Little league holds tryouts! (Yes I am an optimist!) It was a slow day for sales so I was able to read a book I am writing a review on.
I have this sign hanging at my Hot Dog Truck and I have a box to collect can tabs for the Shriner's Children's Hospital. The Shriners Hospitals for Children operates 18 hospitals throughout the U.S., Montreal, Canada, and Mexico City, Mexico, for children with orthopedic problems and burns. Shriners Hospitals are open to all children up to their 18th birthdays. They collect the tabs and recycle them to help fund their hospitals. Its such a no-brainer way to help a really good cause. If you'd like to collect can tabs for the Shriners, you can find out more HERE.
For Battle of Bloggers
I go to a site called Blog Explosion to have the Hot Dog Truck "battle" other blogs. Basically you match up against another blog and people vote on which Blog they like the best. The winner wins credits and basically feels good about themselves.
I have developed a set of criteria on how I vote in these battles:
I'll vote for a blog if it:
makes me laugh;
gives me new news or information I'm interested in;
has pictures of attractive, scantily clad (even nekkid) women;
informs me about a new way to make a buck online;
rants intelligently about any sort of scam or injustice;
is about hot dogs;
has cool pictures;
has a cool layout;
has heartfelt personal stories that are well written; and
has pictures of attractive, scantily clad (even nekkid) women
I won't vote for a blog if it:
has detailed information about American Idol-if I gave a crap, I'd just watch the flippin show;
is about the New York Yankees-the Yankees Suck;
has mommies complaining about their children-I have five kids, your life sounds like a friggin vacation to me;
hasn't been updated recently-if you have time to set up battles maybe you ought to try and post something new, maybe some pictures of attractive, scantily clad (even nekkid) women;
takes FOREVER to load-come ON, get a new host please;
has the words "loose" and "lose" or "looser" and "loser" confused or misspelled- don't get me started;
is clearly written by a teenager-if I want that kind of drama and angst I'll read my daughter's diary;
is a blog that consistently kicks my ass in Blog Battles-this causes a conundrum sometimes because the blogs with scantily clad (even nekkid) women usually kick my ass;
attempts to preach or lecture at me-I have a wife, an ex wife and I go to church on Sundays- 'nuff said; and
it is about the New York Yankees-did I mention they suck?
If both blogs in the battle suck:
I choose the one with the less offensive color scheme unless both blogs are about the Yankees in which case I'll just go back to the Battle Page without voting.
Make Money Online
There are a host of "make money with your Blog" sites out there. Sifting through them all, I have realized that some are junk, some are excellent and many are repetitive.
Before you go spending money on some e-book or manual that tells you how to make money with your blog (like the sites, there are good ones and bad ones-certainly check out their claims), you should look at the quality, FREE information that is available to you. Read more on the Bloggers Affinity Group
There is also a great way to drive exponential traffic to your site. If you're using Blog Explosion or Blog Mad, this seems to be a good complementary way to get more "eyeballs" to your site. I'm trying it with one of my other sites. They explain it better than I could, so click HERE to learn more.
Sid Narged
I have a regular customer (ketchup and relish in the colder months-chicken salad in the warmer months) who laid a book on me yesterday. It's called Goin' Down by Sid Narged (her brother). Apparently young Sid fancies himself a genius. I'm going to read the book and I'll write it up here. In the mean time, you can check out Sid's work HERE.
Happy Saturday!
N'or Easter Dogs
Regular patrons know "its all about the bun!" Each individually crafted hot dog is served on a hot, freshly grilled bun like the one to the left.
Today, unfortunately, it was all about the snow. We're getting an old fashioned March N'or Easter blowing through this weekend which means basically nasty cold, wet snow, wind and rain.
It started snowing at noon, perfect for lunch :o(
Needless to say, it was a slow day for sales.
My customers are getting a kick out of this site.
Most of them say one of two things to me about this site: "Wow, I'm surprised that name (thehotdogtruck.com) was available."-Hey I was too! They also say "so does this mean I can email my order in now?" -That's all I need!
Now that I'm out of the cold and back in the comfort of my home, I think I'll snuggle up with a cold martini or two (or maybe even three-I gave up beer for Lent).
(I never met a Martini I didn't like but isn't that the cutest Martini you ever saw?)
Here's looking at you kid!
NBA or NFL?
36
have been accused of spousal abuse!
7
have been arrested for fraud !
19
have been accused of writing bad checks!
117
have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses!
3
have done time for assault!
71,
repeat
71 cannot
get a credit card due to bad credit!
14
have been arrested on drug-related charges!
8
have been arrested for shoplifting!
21
currently
are defendants in lawsuits!
84
have been arrested for drunk driving
in
the last year!
Can
you guess which organization this is?
Give
up yet?
Neither,
it's the 535 members of the United States Congress.
Your tax dollars at work.
Cell Phone Rant
I know everyone has a cell phone. I use mine more than my land line. I find it far more convenient to use than the land line. I don't know how I ever got along without it. I also have a wife-whom I love dearly. She has a cell phone too. This is very convenient for a multitude of reasons most people would recognize.
What kills me is the "just calling to chat" call. It'll be about 12:15, I'll be knee deep in hot dogs, with 10 people in line and the phone will ring. It's my wife, "just calling to chat!" HELLO HONEY, ITS LUNCH TIME! "I know," she says, "I'm having lunch and I wanted to chat." AAAAAAAArrrgh! She knows I'm busy at lunch time-heck its what I do, make lunch for people, yet she insists on calling to "chat."
When I call her back, say at 2:30 when I'm wrapping things up for the day, to "chat," she invariably says "honey I'm busy, can it wait until tonight?"
This is when I really hate cell phones.
For All the Folks at Horizon Technologies
OK SO I SCREWED UP THE COMPANY NAME, so sue me.... Apparently the company name is Horizon Technology, not Horizon Technologies. If Jeff didn't talk with his mouth full, I'd have gotten it right. I just hope Jeff annunciates better when he's making his sales calls.......
There's this guy, Jeff, who comes by the Hot Dog Truck 3-4 times a week (hey, he knows where to get the best lunch in town!) I must say he's a trooper-out in rain, snow, wind, cold and sunny days (like today). He works at Horizon Technology in Framingham, right around the corner from the Hot Dog Truck. He gets two "All Around" as a rule, though one time he had the Sausage when I had run out of Hot dogs! 
While he does like the food, he mostly comes by to get away from his slave driving sales manager and the relentless, productivity killing and harrassing phone calls from the boys in the home office out in Lake Forest. It seems the Hot Dog Truck has become a bit of a company cult classic as Jeff constantly raves about the delectable dogs he so frequently snarfs down. While I haven't seen Hans yet, 
I hope to meet more of the gang at Horizon and hip them to the joys of the best damn hot dogs on the planet! For all you guys at the Home Office, enjoy the pics of Jeff's thrilling, favorite lunchtime spot!
Can you beat this price? I DON'T THINK SO!
Book Blog
I got this from some crazy cat lady at the end of the block, looked like fun so here goes...
* Look at the list of books below.
* Type "READ" beside the ones you've read.
* Type "WANT TO" beside the ones you'd like to read.
* Type "AGAIN AND AGAIN" beside the ones you could read again and again.
* Type "TRIED" beside the ones you gave the ol' college try and then gave up on.
* Leave blank the ones that you aren't really interested in.
1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown) READ
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen) READ
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee) READ
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell) READ
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien) AGAIN AND AGAIN
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien) AGAIN AND AGAIN
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien) AGAIN AND AGAIN
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling) READ
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown) READ
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling) READ
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving) READ
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (Rowling) READ
17. Fall on Your Knees(Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King) READ
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling) READ
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien) AGAIN AND AGAIN
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger) READ
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott) READ
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel) READ
26. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams) READ
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte) READ
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis) READ
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck) READ
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom) READ
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand) READ
34. 1984 (Orwell) READ
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel) READ
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom) READ
45. The Bible READ
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy) READ
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas) READ
48. Angela's Ashes (Frank McCourt) READ
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck) READ
50. She's Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver) READ
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens) READ
53. Ender's Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens) READ
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald) READ
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling) READ
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough) READ
59. The Handmaid's Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller's Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky) READ
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand) READ
63. War and Peace (Tolsoy) READ
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller) READ
69. Les Miserables (Hugo) READ
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery) READ (in French no less-Le Petit Prince)
71. Bridget Jones' Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell) READ
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett) READ
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving) READ
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte's Web (E.B. White) READ
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck) READ
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard's First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams) READ
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley) READ
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding) READ
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum) READ
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton) READ
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce) READ
Wow, I feel really smaht. Lotsa good books on that list!
Who's on First? Computerized
Another funny one making the email rounds....
For those who remember Abbot & Costello and their great "Who's on First" comedy sketch, hope you enjoy this modernized version.
You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on.
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?", might have turned out something like this:
Costello calls to buy a computer from Abbott.
ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOT T: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses, and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK. What did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
sitting at my comput er and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start with some
straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? Do you have anything
I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy mone y?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START."
Hot Dog Nitty-Gritty
Of course, some things appear when the snow melts that one might rather not see. Sorry, kids!
Only a bit of paint flaked off the truck but left some interesting results. Here flakes have added itself to a graffiti design. Can you read the writing on the truck??
A weird scene on a Southborough, MA sidewalk...Every picture has a story, don't it?With a wink and a nod to otilius ;o)
A Hot Dog Story
March 9, 2007 6:18 PM
Lady Skye Fyre said...
When we lived in Germany many years ago I remember the guy on the corner with his cart. He had a bunch of really long, really sharp heated spikes. Onto those spikes he put these really long buns. They were almost like baguettes.
A seamless hot dog roll jammed onto a heated spike. When he served you a hot dog he asked if you wanted mayonnaise or mustard (I don't think they had ketcup) and he squirted your choice of condiment down the hole of the bun. Then, he loaded in the really long hot dog. I swear they had to have been almost a foot long. But, it was really cool because you didn't get anything on your fingers. The only opening to the bun was at the end that had been jammed onto the spike. I've never seen such a thing in the US, but I'm sure it would be a terrific hit.
Actually, I just looked on the internet. Sodir makes it. You can see it here: http://www.instawares.com/sodir-hot-dog-machine.epq-cs4e.0.7.htm
Post your "Hot Dog Story" Here !
Monday Musings
I was just thinking....
is winter really over or are the weather gods teasing us with the idea of crushing our spirit once more before spring really begins?
if the Red Sox and Yankees play a baseball game tonight that doesn't count, how many fans will care?
do blondes really have more fun?
why do people buy ice cream in the winter and coffee in the summer?
if you water your plants and they still die, is it your fault?
if men think of sex every 7 seconds, how do they get anything done?
when someone says "smoke em if ya got 'em," are they trying to hurt me?
if you give up booze for lent, will God get mad if you get really sh*tfaced on Easter Sunday?
why do some people act like they've never actually had to think about what to put on a hot dog?
how come the people who complain the loudest about how something works usually haven't read the directions?
if 2+2=4 and 4+4=8, why is 6 afraid of 7?
why do teenagers know everything except how to clean their room?
why did Ben and Jerry's sell out?
if I write "Super Bowl" on this Blog, will the NFL sue me?
if the NFL sues me, WTF would they do with a Hot Dog Truck?
when people type "lol" are they really laughing out loud?
why does neatness count?
if everyone who reads this Blog sent me a dollar,would I have $13 or $14?
how come I only get laid when my wife wants something?
why can't I get the "Green Acres" themesong out of my head?
how long will it be before the Anna Nicole Smith story is a bad movie?
if pizza tastes so good cold, why do we cook it in the first place?
has there ever been a President dumber than George Bush?
does anyone want to buy a used Chevy Suburban?
when you die, do you really get all your lost socks back in heaven?
why don't they invent beer flavored cough syrup?
who was the first guy to eat an egg and why would he want to eat something that came out of the ass end of a chicken?
can anyone tell I don't have any ideas today?
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Tax cuts explained
A little gem making the email rounds:
Explanation of tax cuts -- Even Nancy Pelosi should understand this!
Sometimes politicians, journalists and others exclaim; "It's just a tax cut
for the rich!" and that is just accepted to be fact, without question. But
what does that really mean? Just in case you are not completely clear on
this issue, the following might help.
Let's put tax cuts in terms everyone can understand. Suppose that every
day, ten men go out for beer, drink the same amount, and the bill for all
ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it
would go something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1...
The sixth would pay $3...
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.
So, that's what they decided to do.
The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the
arrangement, until on day, the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are all
such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily
beer by $20."Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the
first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what
about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the
$20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?' They realized
that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from
everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up
being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be
fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded
to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).
Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to
drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare
their savings. "I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth
man. He pointed to the tenth man," but he got $10!"
"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too.
It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!"
"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I
got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"
"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get
anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat
down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they
discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all
of them for even half of the bill!
And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our
tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit
from a tax reduction.
Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not
show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the
atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.
>>>>>>>> David R. Kamerschen, PhD
>>>>>>>> Professor of Economics
>>>>>>>> University of Georgia
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